Expect Respect!

As you can probably tell by now I love posting videos on these blogs – especially when they involve the voices of young people; and personally I LOVE this one. This video is about expecting respect. Watch it and ask yourself if you have the courage to expect respect. Could you say the things that the teens in this video say to your partner, a potential partner or your friends?

Keep in mind these are US stats at the beginning of the video, however they probably represent similar statistics to what Canadian teens face in terms of dating violence. Are you 1 in 3 teens who is experiencing physical, verbal, mental and or sexual violence with a dating partner? Of those experiencing violence, 2 of 3 teens won’t ask for help. #asksomeone

Respect me

Respect my mind

Respect my body

Respect my spirit

I don’t need your flowers

I don’t need your gifts

I need your respect

I need your patience

I need you to think

I need you to trust me

He’s just a friend

She’s just my friend

Your jealousy’s unnecessary

Your insecurities are about you, not me

Let’s think before we argue

Think before you speak

Think before you call or text me

I’m not a bitch

I’m not a slut

Your words hurt

Texting it and saying it is the same thing

If I say no, it’s because I mean it

It’s because I’m not ready

It’s because no means no

Think before you touch me

This is my body, not yours

I’m not your punching bag

Don’t ever yell at me

Don’t ever corner me

Don’t ever grab me

Don’t ever push me

Don’t ever slap me

Whether it’s physical or verbal, it’s abuse

There is no reason to ever raise your hand at me

Back up and cool off

And think about it

Don’t apologize

If you can’t change, this won’t work

I’m not going to wait for you to change

One time is enough

One time is too much

One more time won’t happen

Your behaviour is a sickness

You need help

I can’t be your cure

I care about you enough to know that it’s not safe for us to be together

Ask for help

There are others like you

Respect yourself

Heal yourself

Learn from your mistakes

Find your cure

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Power and Control vs. Equality

So why does anyone have relationships?! What do we need them for? Healthy relationships are important. Human interaction is a basic need. Having a partner you can trust, communicate with, count on, laugh with, feel emotionally and physically safe with is what dating is all about. Sounds great, right?

A healthy, mutual and equitable relationship should include all of the things included in the “equality wheel” below. There might be more you expect from a partner that’s not listed here. I would add the right to privacy (including on your phone, Facebook and other social media), and DEFINITELY the right to make decisions about sex and other physical parts of a relationship. Consent should always be gained and never assumed even when you’re in a relationship. Lastly, I would include “nonviolence” meaning any form of violence (physical or sexual) is never acceptable.


Unhealthy relationships have elements of power and control in them. The “power and control wheel” below provides examples of different forms of power, control and abuse that might be present in an unhealthy relationship.


You can CLICK on either of these wheels if they’re difficult to see on your computer or device.

A good visual activity would be printing these wheels off and using a highlighter to identify which parts of each of these wheels are present in your relationship and comparing them!

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